Five Years

"Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Month: October 2019

Scary Monsters! Super Creeps!

October 30, 2019 /

All Hallow’s Eve is upon us again. The time for sugar comas, costumes, trunk or treats, trick or treating, scary movie marathons, haunted houses and all things creepy and unnerving. Halloween can be a struggle for a lot of Christians and it is easy to throw it to the wayside and not participate. I can totally relate to the reasons why and it is so important that we guard our hearts. But I have some different and unorthodox ideas about the subject.

With such name as “Nevermore.” -Edgar A. Poe, The Raven

This is why I celebrate Halloween

I believe in balance. Anything taken too far in one direction will do harm. In my estimation, Halloween is the last remaining holiday where total strangers come by my house to say hi. It’s the only time of year I get to see happy little faces dressed up in princess dresses, or Ninja costumes, or witches or zombies. OMG! They are so cute! And the teenagers! Don’t get me started! They are SO creative with their costumes! The creepy dolls and the great makeup artist attempts are just insane. Some do not dress up and I give them candy also because I am glad they came to visit too.

No rules for Trick or Treating.

There are no published rules for trick or treating. Many people make up arbitrary rules such as there is some kind of age limit and you have to be in costume. I treat it like Jesus would… All are welcome. I sit in my chair outside each year with every kind of chocolate candy and a basket of gluten/peanut free candy to share with these wonderful people who come to visit me. I play creepy sounds and music and decorate my porch so that they know “That lady has candy!” and it will be worth the walk up to my house.

I ask each of them questions about their costumes with a smile. I ask each why they like the candy they picked. They always answer. Most are polite and are very happy that someone took interest. As they leave I send them off with a blessing. It’s love. It’s that simple. I love them. I am so glad they came to visit. I hope they come again next year.

“Fear is the path to the dark side.”

It is very important that we guard our hearts from evil. It truly does exist in this world. Evil is around us every day and not on one singular day. As Yoda once said, “Fear is the path to the dark side.” Decisions made from fear are where evil takes root. Jesus compels us to choose love… every … single… time. No exceptions.

I made the choice to be a loving host on Halloween years ago. It is the one time of year that my door bell rings or there is a knock. I do not want to miss Jesus if he chooses to knock on Halloween. I am a follower of Christ. I choose to love on this holiday as every other day. But on this day, I get to show a lot more people that God loves them than I normally do!

My Zombie and Angel a few years ago.

Always crashing the same car

October 12, 2019 /

This is one of my favorite Bowie songs and also a very familiar theme in my life. I too am always crashing the same car, metaphorically speaking. Often, I am too keen to repeat the same mistakes and patterns in my life. Behaviors are difficult to escape.

Last week, however, I took the theme to the literal sense and crashed my ACTUAL car. Or, rather, a deer ran into my car. Nevertheless, the car is crashed into. I am upset. My Jeep is my baby. The only new car I ever owned and it’s barely a year old. Feeling a bit devastated, not gonna lie. Actually taking this a bit worse than I did the cancer diagnosis truth be told. So, that may give you a bit of an insight as to how exactly messed up I actually am.

I like my firecracker red Jeep with the vented leather seats and moon roof. The heated steering wheel keeps my hands from turning blue (which happens regularly with my Raynaud’s disease). I like it so much that I felt more of a gut punch when the deer caused $3000 worth of damage to it than I did when I heard the nice doctor man say, you have cancer.

Lyrics from Always Crashing the Same Car – David Bowie, Low 1977

Honesty is the best policy

I promised I would be honest with this blog and this would be about me and my life and what I want to pass on to people about me. I’m a messed up person. I admit it. I do crash the same car over and over. I keep asking myself why do I put myself in situations that strain me emotionally, financially or spiritually? The answer is always the same. I’m just a sinner.

The struggle is real

On a spiritual level I know that I was not made for this world, but man have I gotten accustomed to it’s comforts. I am prideful, glutinous, lustful, envious, greedy, lazy and easy to anger. That is the heart of it. The heart of every single problem, not only in my own life but in every life I know. I need to ask forgiveness every single day. I want to be less of me and more like Christ, but the struggle is real ya’ll. I just don’t seem to put enough of those days together in a row, or even minutes of hours if we are being totally honest.

Fortunately I grew up in a family that is so rich in Christian heritage. I think it seeped into my bones somehow. I gave my life to Christ as a 9 year old and at that age I was so open to really listen to the still small voice. It shaped me in such a way that even when I was older and began to question the specifics of my beliefs, I knew no matter what I did or how I messed up, Jesus would be there for me. He would cover me.

Better and brighter

So, I’m still always crashing this same car, and He is there every single time to pick up the pieces and make it better and brighter. He knows I’m going to crash it again, and He still makes beauty out of my mistakes when I call on him to rescue me yet again. I’m so thankful for that. I wish I could successfully explain the security I have in that to my kids. Maybe some day they will read this and they will get it. I pray every single day that each of you experiences this security and love if you have not already.

Blessings and Peace

Surprise trip… Jesus take the wheel!

October 3, 2019 /

Mondays are generally sucky.  I think we all can agree on that point.  It’s a day we just all kind of endure but no one enjoys it.  This past Monday was set to be that way for me,  another ENDURING Monday for the books. But at 2:30 p.m. I received an unexpected text.  

“Hey, I found tickets to Carrie Underwood tonight.  Want to go with me?”

The ride or die friend in me thought “Heck yes I want to go!” However, the mom who knew that her teenage kids were at home nursing a stomach bug just couldn’t jump in without checking the waters at home.  So a few quick texts to the kids and then to my hubby, and getting a “Go girl” response, I was off to the races… On a Monday no doubt.  No planning even.  Who IS this person????

I sped home from work at 5pm, made a record 5 minute change of clothes and quick lip gloss application, and I was off to pick up my friend!  We listened to Crime Junkies podcast and chatted the whole way to the concert.  It was so unMonday.  We also didn’t talk about anything medical or even say the Cancer word.  Honestly, this is the one friend that didn’t know yet. We just had fun.

The Cry Pretty concert was amazing.  I remember voting for Carrie Underwood back in the American Idol days of yore! I have always loved her.  She is really so authentic and I think she is who she portrays.  No doubt she will be remembered as one of the greats when it is all said and done.  Her voice was on point.  But, I swear, when she sang Temporary Home and Jesus Take the Wheel, I almost bawled.  I guess thinking about life and death with everything that’s been going on has made those songs have so much more meaning.  

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